Texting Isn’t Dating

Let’s talk about something that tends to confuse people more than it should. Texting in between dates. I’m going to say something that may feel counterintuitive if you’ve spent a lot of time on apps. Texting in between dates is so 2018.

What I mean by that is this. Somewhere along the way, we started treating texting as the “relationship” instead of the bridge to seeing each other again. Conversations stretch on for days, sometimes weeks, and by the time people meet, the energy has either been overbuilt or completely diluted.

Texting creates a false sense of connection. It feels like progress, but it is not the same as sitting across from someone and experiencing how they actually show up. Tone gets lost. Intent gets misread. And people start forming opinions about each other based on fragments instead of reality.

I also see texting quietly kill momentum all the time. One person is more communicative than the other. One person reads into response times. Someone feels like they are carrying the conversation. And suddenly, something that had potential becomes confusing or frustrating before a second date even happens.

In matchmaking texting is forbidden. But in your personal dating efforts I encourage you to take a different approach. Use texting for what it is meant for. Light touchpoints. Confirming plans. Keeping things warm, but not building the entire connection there.

If you enjoyed the first date, the goal is simple. See each other again. That is where clarity comes from. That is where connection either builds or it doesn’t. You do not need a week of texting to determine if you want a second date. You need one more meeting.

Because real connection is built in person, not through a screen.

Leah